"I won basically everything, so gute nacht and auf wiedersehen, h8rs!"

If you saw the 2012 MTV EMA, then you're probably already familiar with the fact that Rita Ora made a birdcage and an umbrella look sexy, Muse sent chills across Germany with their supernatural performance of "Madness" (complete with glasses from the future), Taylor Swift showed up, CLEANED UP, and shut down the show -- and the circus. And Psy proved that "Gangnam Style" translates roughly to "eff yeah" in just about every language. But there were still plenty of EMA moments you may have missed and really shouldn't have! Good thing I've got eyes in the back of my head, front of my head (SERIOUSLY thankful for that one) and in places far away, like Germany! Bitte enjoy these must-see photos from the 2012 MTV EMA! Vielen dank! And Carly Rae Jepsen, if you're reading this, rufen Sie mich vielleicht!

Pitbull performed, and I'd make the obvious joke, but it looks like Pitbull already made it. (THIS GUY knows what I'm talkin' about!)

Super gorgeous Taylor Swift is probably asking super gorgeous model Anne Vyalitsyna (and Adam Levine's ex!) WTF is up with that random foot almost touching her head. Gross, right?

Conor Maynard and 50 percent of Jedward marvel over the fact that their hair is blowing in the exact same direction at the exact same time and they didn't even plan it.

Sorry. You can't have EMA host Heidi Klum's job because it's already been taken by Heidi Klum.

Check out more must-see photos from the 2012 MTV EMA after the jump!

Nope, that's not four feet of magnetic VHS tape coming out Kim Kardashian's bum. It's called fashion, okay?

EMA performer and winner Psy just found Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up. Shocking and sadz. Sadz and shocking.

UHMUHGUH, Lena, you are THE MOST cute. I can't even.

Meanwhile, this is Holly Hagan from "The Geordie Shore," and I'm not sure if this makes me really happy or really glad I don't live in the U.K. Hide ya kids, hide ya wives, hide ya wigs.

Okay, this didn't actually happen, but I really wish it had.

Heidi Klum and Taylor Swift share a kiss. Because it's Europe! And everyone kisses there!

+ Check out EMA performances, EMA show highlights, EMA backstage moments, EMA red carpet photos, EMA fashion, and more from the 2012 MTV EMA!

Photo credit: Dave Hogan/Getty Images; Jeff Kravitz/ FilmMagic; Daniel Roland/ AFP; Tim Whitby & Dave Hogan/ Getty Images for MTV