Silent Hill: Revelation is, regrettably, a Silent Hill movie. We watched it again so you don't have to.

It's, uh, unfortunate to say the least that Silent Hill: Revelation wound up being made at all, but more unfortunate still when you consider just how decent the first Silent Hill movie was. Sure, the first film may have made some weird choices along the way but it wound up being pretty okay, fun to watch even. The same can't really be said for the second time around.

Roughly (and we mean roughly) adapting the plot of Silent Hill 3, Silent Hill: Revelation is a hodgepodge of random ideas, one-off monster designs, and slap-dash visual effects that didn't age well. It's full of actors you'll recognize, like Sean Bean and Kit Harrington, doing the world's weirdest takes on characters you'll recognize, like Harry Mason and Vincent Smith. Pyramid Head shows up to fight what can best be described as a knock-off Cenobite from Hellraiser. Robbie the Rabbit is in it. It's a whole situation.

But, it's still a Silent Hill movie, for better or for worse, which means it's full of fun Silent Hill references and Easter Eggs, just like the first movie was. And that means it's our solemn duty to go back through and find as many as we can. It's not a pleasant job, but someone has to do it, right? And given the current situation around the world, there's never been a better time.

1. Lakeside Amusement Park

Lakeside Amusement Park is a key location in Silent Hill 3 (and several other games) though it bears little resemblance to the carnival version we see here in the intro of the movie. The merry-go-round, too, is a real part of the game, but it's--well, not exactly represented faithfully.

2. Robbie

Robbie the Rabbit is the mascot of Lakeside Amusement Park as introduced in Silent Hill 3. Creepy as he is, he's usually just a regular doll set up in random places to add atmosphere. After Silent Hill 3, he went on to become a sort of meme for the entire franchise, featuring heavily in other games (even ones that never went back to the park.)

3. Memory of Alessa

The monstrous version of Heather on the carousel is known as the Memory of Alessa in the game and it serves as a recurring boss fight.

4. Pyramid Head

Our good friend Pyramid Head, aka Red Pyramid, really has no business being in a movie based on Silent Hill 3, a game where he never appears, but that didn't stop Revelation from tossing him in anyway. Absolutely everything about him being "Heather's guardian" is nonsense invented for the movie.

5. Harry Mason

Sean Bean's Christopher De Silva is, as he was back in the first movie, a modified version of protagonist Harry Mason. His role in this movie is, shockingly, somewhat similar to his role in Silent Hill 3--but even then it's a loose adaptation at best. Instead of being kidnapped and taken to Silent Hill, Harry in the game is, tragically, murdered. RIP.

6. Heather's Vest

Heather's outfit in the movie may actually be the most accurate thing on screen. Her orange shirt/white vest combo is a decent replica of her character model.

7. Name Changes

The throw-away gag about Heather being forced to change her name as they move around gets a bit more meta when you consider just how many strange name updates these characters went through back in the first movie. Cheryl became Sharon became Heather, while simultaneously being Alessa. Harry became Christopher. Mason became De Silva. Who really knows why.

8. Save Point Seal

The arcane looking seal on Chris's secret box of Silent Hill artifacts gets repeated several times in the movie. It's actually the symbol used in the games, most commonly marking save points. It's known as the Halo of the Sun.

9. The Soundtrack (Again)

Just like the first film, the soundtrack used for Revelation is almost entirely cribbed from the games.

10. Rose

Hey, remember Rose? She was the protagonist of the first movie, where she replaced Harry in the narrative entirely. The movie ended with her still stuck in an alternate dimension, even after she'd escaped the city limits of Silent Hill, which is why she can apparently now talk to Chris through a mirror. Don't ask us, we don't really get it either.

11. Douglas Cartland

Private investigator Douglas Cartland does exist in Silent Hill 3. However, he actually makes it through the entire game and, depending on the ending you get, lives to tell the tale.

12. Vincent Smith

Kit Harrington's Vincent has almost nothing to do with his video game counterpart, a middle aged man who works as a priest for the Order and has an ambiguously antagonistic relationship with Heather. The whole quasi-love story between him and Heather was invented for the movie and, regrettably, is extremely creepy for anyone coming in with knowledge of the game.

13. Lying Figure (Again)

Joining Pyramid Head in the repeat-monster category is the Lying Figure, aka the "spitter," a monster that does exist in the games (though not necessarily with this design) and was featured heavily back in the first movie.

14. The Mall

Heather's ordeal in the mall borrows directly from the first "level" of the game, where Heather is forced to navigate an ominously empty Central Square Shopping Center.

15. The lead pipe

Combat in Silent Hill games is usually all about conserving resources, making improvised weapons like lead pipes optimal choices for the smaller monsters. Heather finds one here in the trash room.

16. The Order of Valtiel

The Order of Valtiel is a real thing in Silent Hill lore, sort of. The name in the games, specifically, is "The Order." Valtiel himself is actually a character, potentially even a sort of demi-god, in Silent Hill 3--though he's never targetable and only ever seen in the background of various scenes or in the game over screen where he can be seen dragging Heather's body away. Several monsters in Revelation borrow from elements of his design--specifically the stitched up wounds across a faceless, skin-covered head--but his only real appearance in the movie comes in the form of the statue Chris is chained up against.

17. Claudia Wolf

Carrie Ann Moss was outfitted in a truly horrible wig and knock-off Renaissance Faire garb to play Claudia Wolf, who is also the main antagonist of Silent Hill 3. Her mission is roughly the same as it is in the game--she wants to bring Heather back so that the Order can birth their god into the world--but that's about where the similarities end.

18. Mannequins

Like the first film, Revelation makes liberal use of mannequins as set dressing, but this time actually goes the extra mile to make them monsters as well. The mannequin creature Heather fights bears no resemblance to the four-legged creatures that actually exist within the game, but it does look pretty neat.

19. Silent Hill's Backstory

The exposition dump about the actual town of Silent Hill here is not only weirdly contradictory to the backstory set up by the first movie, it doesn't really line up with any of the games' takes on canon, either. The part about the coal fires, for whatever reason, seems to be the only real link between the versions, and it's still loosely based on the real life history of Centralia, Pennsylvania.

20. Dahlia

The movie version of Dahlia Gillespie returns briefly in Revelation with a bit of a makeover to make her more in line with her game counterpart--almost.

21. Leonard Wolf

Leonard Wolf is a weird case in the movie--basically everything about him being a chained up, victimized human is invented for the film. The movie skirts awkwardly around his backstory as Claudia's abusive father. His monster form, however, is actually an on-the-nose representation of the Leonard Wolf featured in SH3. He does, in fact, have the Seal of Metatron as well, so there's that.

22. The Seal of Metatron

Silent Hill 3's major MacGuffin, the Seal of Metatron, is a repeated image and item used in the game to motivate Heather's quest through Silent Hill. In the movie it represents both halves of Alessa joining as one, which is something exclusive to the film.

23. Nurses (Again)

Hey, the nurses from the first Silent Hill movie are back again and this time they appear to be corralled into an operating theater. As with the first time around, these nurses are vaguely based on Silent Hill 2's Bubblehead Nurses--they don't really have a good reason to be here in this story, aside from immediate brand recognition for fans of the franchise, but they do look pretty neat.