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Missed the most recent Jean Grey School livetweet session taken directly from the pages of WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN #7? For shame! Sign up for the Jean Grey School members list on Twitter to make sure you don't skip another class, but in the mean time, enjoy this transcript...and take some notes or Headmaster Wolverine will not be happy!
Jean Grey School @JeanGreySchool:
Welcome to the latest Jean Grey School live tweet. I am Headmistress Katherine Pryde and I’d like to welcome you here.
Jean Grey School @JeanGreySchool:
Seeing how we’re under attack (both the school and my innards) this Live Tweet is going to be a bit different.
Jean Grey School @JeanGreySchool:
The sad truth is that mutants are often targets in this world, but here at the Jean Grey School we don’t let it get in the way of education.
Jean Grey School @JeanGreySchool:
We’re going to prove that today, as the professors host a Master Class entitled “High-Stakes Combat: A First Hand Perspective”
Broo @_Broodling_:
I hope fighting for my life doesn’t make me miss any valuable learning opportunities!
Quentin Quire @QQuire:
Fighting for your life is the ONLY learning opportunity we’ve had at this school worth anything so far.
Genesis @GenesisHero:
Can’t wait for this! And can’t wait to tell Uncle Cluster about it!
Jean Grey School @JeanGreySchool:
So while the professors defend the school, we’re going to turn it into a lesson! PROGRESSIVE EDUCATION!
Broo @_Broodling_:
“Progressive education” is one of my favorite kinds of education!
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@JeanGreySchool You call this “Progressive Education”? My 2nd doctorate from the Magestarial University of Skrullos was more progressive!
Jean Grey School @JeanGreySchool:
Professor Drake will start us off.
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
HEY THERE! I imagine that I’m kicking this off because I am the most experienced X-Man at the school.
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
.@IceIceBobby Excuse me, Robert?
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
It’s true, multitudes. I was, in fact the second X-Man EVER! And even though some of my compatriots are older…
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
.@IceIceBobby Tread lightly, Robert…
Quentin Quire @QQuire:
I love it when Olds call other people old and completely miss their own oldness. #trueadventuresofTheOlds
Rockslide @SANTORULES:
.@QQuire Dude, are you still in space?
Quentin Quire @QQuire:
.@SANTORULES Not only am I in space, but I just won more money than your pebblebrain could imagine and now I get to fight a bunch of aliens.
Quentin Quire @QQuire:
.@SANTORULES Also, did I mention the alien babe factor? It’s out of control out here.
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@QQuire I agree with you, young man. Planet Sin does have quite attractive ladies.
Rockslide @SANTORULES:
. @QQuire WHAT!?!? DUDE, @_anole_, THAT SHOULD BE US! WE SHOULD BE FIGHTING ALIENS!
Anole @_Anole_:
.@SANTORULES I dunno about that, but I find it a bit ridiculous that the most demerited student at the school gets taken on a special trip.
Quentin Quire @QQuire:
.@_anole_ And so what do we learn? Demerits are meaningless. Add THAT to your progressive education syllab-s.
Anole @_anole_
.@QQuire Hopefully you can pick up the nasty thoughts I’m thinking at you right now. :-P
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
…I do have the most X-Men seniority. One of the first bits of wisdom that I learned and want to impart…
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
I think I’m going to barf and not just from the thousands of Brood fighting my friends on my intestines.
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@JGSHeadmistress It’s so wonderful when an experiment does what you want it to do!
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
…is to expect the unexpected! Sometimes you shrink down and go chasing a rude alien student inside a coworker.
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
You expect the thousands of alien parasites (no offense, @_Broodling_!)…
Broo @_Broodling_:
.@IceIceBobby None taken, Professor!
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
But you don’t expect a student to get Broodified.
Kid Gladiator @KidGladiator1:
SCRATCHBITEPUNCHPUNCHPUNCH!
Idie @IDIE_OKONKWO
I don’t see how that makes @KidGladiator1 any more of a monster than the rest of us…
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
You can’t let these surprises catch you off guard. You have to expect the unexpected. You have to be ready for—
Kid Gladiator @KidGladiator1:
PUNCHSCRATCHEYEBLASTEYEBLASTEYEBLAST!!!
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
It appears that my esteemed colleague’s experienced face just got burnt off. I assume it’s karma for that “old” comment.
Anole @_anole_
If MY face got burnt off, what would it look like when it grew back? (DO NOT REPLY TO THIS TWEET, @SANTORULES!)
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
I’ll take it from here, @HenryMcCoyPhD. Fights rarely come when you are ready for them.
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
Sometimes they come when you’re home alone around Christmas and all your teammates are on the town…
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
Sometimes they come when you’re studying for a big physics exam and tending bar at an esteemed university…
Rockslide @SANTORULES
.@JGSHeadmistress You were a BAR TENDER? Maybe this place is cooler than I thought…
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
And sometimes they come when your teammates are fighting an alien army in your seemingly pregnant body…
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
Fights come when they come and they rarely give you time to plan or even think. That’s why training and learning are SO IMPORTANT!
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@JGSHeadmistress I cannot tell you how many of my peers neglect to train themselves in the deadly arts. Essential study, IMHO!
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
You have to know how to handle yourself so inherently that you don’t NEED to think.
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
And even then sometimes you need help from annoying little Gremlins who steal your underwear from time to time.
Idie @IDIE_OKONKWO
Honestly, I don’t know how such an immoral woman was put in charge of a school!
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
That last bit may not be applicable in all situations.
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
.@JGSHeadmistress Well said, Katherine.
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
.@JGSHeadmistress Yeah, that was GREAT, Kitty.
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
.@IceIceBobby How’s that head feeling, oh experienced one?
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
.@HenryMcCoyPhD Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember when you turned yourself blue and furry?
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
.@IceIceBobby Of course, Robert, my friend. It was the day I learned yet another way to be more handsome than you.
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
But that’s beside the point. Now let me share some pointers with our students.
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
When you go into battle it’s important to assess your situation carefully.
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
Analyze your enemy (or enemies). What are their biological attributes, speculate their origins, carefully estimate the size of the force.
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@HenryMcCoyPhD For example: do they reveal their strategies on their planet’s primitive social media platforms?
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
Are there any apparent weaknesses you can exploit? If they are a growing force, is there a way to cut off their supply?
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
Formulate your plan, based on your inferences. What are the consequences, both positive and negative, inherent in each plan?
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
From the specific to the general… The Brood have no easy weakness. They require extreme force and their numbers are increasing rapidly.
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
So it is important to find the egg sac. Check. Now all we need are some adequate explosives! What scientist doesn’t carry those?
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
There are certainly negative consequences at play, but the needs of the situation outweigh them…
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
So you plant your explosives, set the timer and get as far away as possible.
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
.@HenryMcCoyPhD That sounds like a heck of a—Wait a minute. Did you just say what I think you—
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
.@JGSHeadmistress Many apologies, Katherine, but this ensures that both you and the rest of us live to see another day!
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@HenryMcCoyPhD Ha! I never would have expected my foes to set off explosives inside one another’s body! Successful distraction, indeed!
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
Not to worry, little @_Broodling_, it appears I shall have ample time to kill you before your professors can intrude!
Broo @_Broodling_:
I do wish you would reconsider your position on my continued survival, Professor @xantostarblood…
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
What’s that, @_Broodling_? With whom are you conversing that wants you dead?
Quentin Quire @QQuire:
.@HenryMcCoyPhD @_Broodling_ Not counting me. #DeathToSleazoids
Broo @_Broodling_:
.@HenryMcCoyPhD Prof @xantostarblood? Do you not follow him? Quite an important scientific figure. Also, he is trying to kill me, currently.
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@_Broodling_ I am not surprised--@HenryMcCoyPhD is reasonably able for an EARTH scientist, but in galactic terms…
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD
My stars and garters! @xantostarblood has been following our livetweet this whole time?
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
Wait…this alien thing has a TWITTER ACCOUNT?
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@JGSHeadmistress I take considerable exception to that. I am a scientist, not some THING.
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
Anyone else think when our nemesis starts tweeting at us it’s time to end the twitter event?
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
.@IceIceBobby Seconded!
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@IceIceBobby You’re no fun at all. Can’t multi-task? What’s science without a little death-defying risk–taking?
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
.@xantostarblood I am about to explode my co-worker’s innards, and you say we take no risks?
Kitty Pryde @JGSHeadmistress:
.@HenryMcCoyPhD DO NOT WANT.
Anole @_Anole_
Geez louise. Who else has a Twitter? Mr. Sinister, you there? Nimrod? Should I be following Sauron?
Doctor Henry McCoy @HenryMcCoyPhD:
Well, it seems that we are all about to make an extremely quick exit! Thank you all for joining us for this Master Class.
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
It’s been… fun? So long as @JGSHeadmistress makes it out alive, we can get back to running a school!
Dr. Xanto Starblood @xantostarblood:
.@IceIceBobby No objections here—it will just be less one student.
Bobby Drake @IceIceBobby:
We’ll see you tomorrow morning at @JeanGreySchool for morning announcements when we get this place back to normal. Well, normal is relative.
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